I'm an artist with the guitar. I'll wrestle, and I'm a pretty good scrapper, by the way... But if you make me angry, I'll roll to the outside and grab my guitar... And I'll wail on a few chords that'll blow your mind... And make you shit your pants.
See, I know the forbidden chords... To make the forbidden notes... A few strums later and I've got you begging someone for new pants. Certainly the ref will stop the match and award me the contest. Your anus will look like that bigot Ultimate Warrior's head during that one promo where it started leaking. And yeah, F U C K that guy.
Anyway, I know some guitar tricks that'll stop anybody with ears dead in their tracks. And I'll win by Sonic Submission.
And the LWF wants winners, right?
(Strums guitar and Christmas tree falls over in background)
Guess I should do something with that. It's June.
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