CHICKEN
Rep
it
Tender.
CHICKEN
Rep
it
Tender.
Cool! Now that we've got the proper pronunciation of my chicken-y name out of the way, we can move on without another beak...Oh!
I mean--
BREAK.
(Offstage one exec checks his watch, while another makes a broad stroke with a red pen on a clipboard)
And I'm here to let everybody know that I'm the best "Chicken" in the industry! And even though I'm sure as Hell NOT edible, I'm better than Kentucky FRIED Chicken any day of the week! I'll kick the hay out of the ASS of that Brown's Chicken logo, were it to come to life, and THROW it at The Chicken from Family Guy.
And I'd have no problem at all breaking a lamp over the head of that San Diego Chicken. I'll kill 'em.
I'm Chicken Repitender, and I'm coming to the LWF to prove my dominance as not only a chicken, but then a MAN-- And then a Chicken again.
I'll use great taglines on my opponents like-- "You're balking up the wrong tree" and "I just feathered your wife" to incite my opponents to the point of a coronary. I'm a master at the written word as well-- in fact I was once known
as Charles Chickens and you see, I--
(Offstage Exec interrupts) Hold on..! Hold on one sec there, Mr. Repitender... Hold on.
(Walks into the dark, farther offstage and can be heard rummaging through a toolbox or large storage bin--
METEOR HITS THE F U C K ING PLANET AND NOBODY FINDS OUT WHAT HAPPENED. WAS THERE A PUNCHLINE? WHAT THE F U C K WERE ALL DEAD WITH NO F U C K ING RESOLUTION JUST LIKE REAL LIFE AHHHHHHHH
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