You're taking wrestling much more personally than you should, but that is common amongst wrestling parents.
For those who dabble in wrestling, or those who take it just a little serious, it may feel like they are sometimes a practice dummy. If your opponent is capable of pinning you in 10-50 seconds, at will, you are essentially a practice dummy.
This is not how the more dominant wrestler thinks. They are not thinking about you, teammates, fans or anything between. They are thinking, "This kid is here to beat me. I will wrestle him as hard as I can."
If this includes working on things because a talent or work ethic discrepancy is recognizes, it's up to opponent(who you are categorizing as a victim), to wrestle or fight back on some skilled level.
In a sport like wrestling, where talent, hard work, and mat time quickly show in some matches, the person who has put in less does not get to decide the outcome.
I am not for legitimate showboating. I've seen BAD wrestlers showboat. Pointing fingers after a lucky win. I've seen parents celebrate like idiots when a bad call was made.
When a top State wrestler is training and competing to get to the top nationally, they have to work on things. The most important time is during a match and it may include changing positions, retrying moves over the 3 rounds given per match.
I don't expect you to understand, since you haven't understood by now. Stop being a victim, this type of thinking is ruining all sports.
GET BETTER and BE THE CHANGE. If your top ranked kid who can pin, outscore, and dominate a match locally and nationally doesn't want to get more mat time, get in the position to make that change.
I guarantee, they will be doing the same thing once they are good.
If you have video of the showboating and disrespect you're talking about from State, or any matches...please post them.