Late R45 and R25 can be a complete pain,when checking out circuits ,fuses and relays etc.
You have got:
1999 to 2002 models (all the same) 2002.5 model year (mixed and match with early lay outs) 2002.5 (hardwired Fuse board )
and finally 2004 model years which are different again.
All have different Fuse / relay layouts and circuit operations.
anyway to answer your question I would say that the starter relay will be behind the panel at the bottom of the N/S "A" post (yellow relay). If the car is a auto it will attached to the Auto gearbox ECU on the "A" post.