I live in Arizona and was looking for a coven to get involved with, and since I have had an interest in Crowley since I was a youngster but never really acted upon my inclination besides reading books, I decided to give the local OTO a try. I went to a number of meetings for enquirers and got to know the lodge officers pretty well, all of whom seemed like decent folks who were on their respective paths to realizing their True Will and were well past any self-destructive nonsense. They invited me to their new years eve party, which was at a mansion in the middle of nowhere, and I could tell right away the vibes were malignant. When they all got drunk and started talking about Nazism and the Illuminati I knew this wasn't going to work out. A couple of the uninitiated neophytes were deep in self-destructive obsessions and had been messing with forces that were too strong for them and likely had some form of possession. One highly resented my healthy lifestyle and cursed it, and another (a Satanist) said I was giving off "Christ thought-forms" and put me under immediate and obvious psychic attack, which I was able to repel in the short term, but I feel as though they put some kind of lingering manifestation on my trail to catch me off guard when my defenses are down. Already I have had strong cravings for cigarettes, which I haven't smoked in years. Both of these neophytes were what you would call "alt-right" anti-feminists and anti-humanists who are slaves to lust and a craving for power. What I realized from this experience is that Thelema can't be cherry-picked and employed as a magickal system, but it is by its nature a Left-hand path that hates the Light, and I don't need to be fooling with it.
Can anyone suggest what I need to do to BANISH whatever is pursuing me?
Love and blessings,
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