No one can block you from "your gifts".

I'm sorry that your grandmother did not encourage your interests. Whatever her reasons were for discouraging you no longer matter.

Sometimes a mother or grandmother is not the best teacher. A mother or grandmother can have much patience with a child when it comes to teaching the basics of life but when it comes to teaching the basics of occult science they become irritable and impatient. I have seen this many times over.

If you have a real interest you best start reading as many books as you can find and start educating yourself!

Go browse our bookstore. There are tons of books with full descriptions. Go to your public library and see if they have any thing good in their occult book section.

Start reading and keep it to yourself.

Magick share is magick lost. Only talk about your interests and magical studies with those who share your interest and encourage your success in your studies.