The very SAME Roger Embargo who won the 1999 and 2002 "Ban on Foreign Trade Award", and the 2005 "No Plastic /No Spaghetti Award".
So as you can see, I know what the fuh-ck I'm talking about, and I'm not about to pull any punches.
The name is Tastee-Ape you say? That's funny, because I met you 4 years ago at our mutual engineer friend Thomas Melba's house.
Well... I was his friend. You, apparently, were just his nosy, lookin'-for-a-corpse-neighbor.
And, while you used the Prototype Laminator for discreetly licking meat in a grocery store, it has a greater purpose. I'm shocked that you stole from Tom for such... Perversion.
So, if you're coming to the LWF, then I'M coming to chase you down and fight you.
Like, when NAILZ showed up basically just to fuh-ck with Big Boss Man. It was just stupid, obvious, booking. And then what'd they do with Nailz after that? Nothing. They tried some Taker thing, and then he supposedly went nuts had his dick out or something in Vince's office. I dunno. Memories a little hazy.
But my POINT is:
To properly honor Thomas Melba and the creation of the Pocket Laminator, I, Roger Embargo, will join the ranks of the Lunatic Wrestling Federation to defeat the vile meat-licking Tastee-Ape, and even perhaps reclaim the device.
It's also very possible, that during my training for the upcoming bouts, I will die of a massive fuh-cking coronary because my lifestyle has basically been outrageously sedentary for 12 years.
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