First, when you go to dinner at a fancy restaurant, be sure to check and see what forks they have. If there's TWO, one is the SALAD fork-- the smaller one.
If you go to a restaurant and you open your napkin to find two of the SAME SIZE, plunge the forks into your thighs until you get someone's attention.
(If you have balsa wood legs, just leave the restaurant)
Once someone comes to your table, continue stabbing, possibly rhythmically, or even begin shredding at whats currently left of your legs.
Now, begin screaming at them-- "WHAT DAY IS IT, PHUCKNOSE? WHAT DAY IS IT, PHUCKNOSE?"
If they immediately answer, you have permission to pass out at this point.
If they try to take the forks away, begin quoting any Harrison Ford line in Air Force One, or ANYTHING from a Will Smith movie.
Till next time, it's just
"Whats appropriate."
--Gravy Baby
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