Much like how my life was created in a petri dish by Dave Vader's scientists...I was a zygote created by man to be the ultimate wrestling disease. Yet I broke free of the oppressive shackles of the Dark Lord of Indy Wrestling. After becoming "self aware" I managed to seal myself up in this suit (Viral Containment Unit 37718) and begin a career as an independent wrestler. I never got far, and doctored photos that show me sucking off One Man Militia were spread everywhere. It was actually S.T. And Shockwave that were doing the sucking, and it turned out that "Penguin" was the mastermind behind the doctored photos. When I found out about it, I was like--"AAAYY! I don't even have a mouth to suck anyone off with!! I'm basically gelatin and gasses in a space suit with an orange "hunting mask" strapped on to give me more of a human form! #### off!" But, about CM Punk, hope he never has to face off with the Cosmonaut, Sublime, or Masked Bonanza. For that matter, I hope he never draws Robert Bugs, Cabrini Dean, or Mister Sensei out of a hat either.
Raaaah! Even Super Reggie Virus knows that whatever will be, will be.
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