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on 12/6/2025, 7:15 pm
I saw Jackee in the bathroom kinda squatting on the toilet seat ... but, not really.
She said, "It's too cold to sit on the toilet seat."
I said ... "That sounds like a great song title."
So, I had ChatGPT write a song for it.
After doing this... it asked me if I want chords for the song. I said, "Yes" and it gave them to me. So, here it is:
It’s Too Cold to Sit on the Toilet Seat
(Copyright 2025 Max H. Schwartz All Rights Reserved)
(A Lighthearted Country-Blues Song)
Verse 1
Well, I woke up in the morning, ‘bout a quarter past eight,
Shuffled through the hallway in a half-awake state.
Thought I’d start the day easy, but life said not today,
‘Cause the second that I sat down, my soul froze halfway.
Chorus
It’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat,
Got a chill in my bones from my head to my feet.
Winter’s knockin’, and it sure ain’t sweet—
Lord, it’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat.
Verse 2
I tried a little hover but my legs weren’t strong,
Tried to brace myself but it all went wrong.
I swear that porcelain holds the cold of a thousand years,
Enough to make a grown man cry frozen tears.
Chorus
It’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat,
Got a chill in my bones from my head to my feet.
Winter’s knockin’, and it sure ain’t sweet—
Lord, it’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat.
Bridge
Maybe I’ll knit a cozy, or install a heater,
Or hire someone braver—someone with a fire eater’s meter.
But till I find a solution, I’m standin’ in defeat,
Doing bathroom yoga just to keep off the seat.
Verse 3
Neighbors say I’m crazy, but they don’t understand,
This ain’t some little problem—it’s a cold-front command.
Jack Frost’s got claws where no claws should be,
And he’s lurkin’ in that bathroom waitin’ just for me.
Chorus (Final)
It’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat,
Got a chill in my bones from my head to my feet.
If comfort’s a crime, then just arrest me—
‘Cause it’s too cold… way too cold…
To sit on the toilet seat.
Tag Line
Somebody warm it up for me.
CHORD CHART (Key of G)
Verse 1
G C
Well, I woke up in the morning, ‘bout a quarter past eight,
D C G
Shuffled through the hallway in a half-awake state.
G C
Thought I’d start the day easy, but life said “not today,”
D C G
‘Cause the second that I sat down, my soul froze halfway.
Chorus
G C
It’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat,
D C G
Got a chill in my bones from my head to my feet.
G C
Winter’s knockin’, and it sure ain’t sweet—
D C G
Lord, it’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat.
Verse 2
(Same as Verse 1)
G C
I tried a little hover but my legs weren’t strong,
D C G
Tried to brace myself but it all went wrong.
G C
I swear that porcelain holds the cold of a thousand years,
D C G
Enough to make a grown man cry frozen tears.
Bridge
(Slight lift — switch to Em for contrast)
Em C
Maybe I’ll knit a cozy, or install a heater,
G D
Or hire someone braver with a fire-eater’s meter.
Em C
Till I find a solution, I’m standin’ in defeat,
G D G
Doing bathroom yoga just to keep off the seat.
Verse 3
(Same as earlier verses)
G C
Neighbors say I’m crazy, but they don’t understand,
D C G
This ain’t a little problem—it's a cold-front command.
G C
Jack Frost’s got claws where no claws should be,
D C G
And he's lurkin’ in that bathroom waitin’ just for me.
Final Chorus
G C
It’s too cold to sit on the toilet seat,
D C G
Got a chill in my bones from my head to my feet.
G C
If comfort’s a crime, then just arrest me—
D C G
'Cause it’s too cold… way too cold… to sit on the toilet seat.
Tag Line
C G
Somebody warm it up for me.



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