My sister had metal put into her arm too and she had to have it removed because of the pain. I can tell you that the metal in my back does not bother me at all. I cannot feel it or see it. There is a big difference in the amount of muscle in an arm compared to the back so I don't think this is a concern for you.
As far as becoming crippled from the surgery, just make sure you go to a really good doctor. Ask him about how many errors he's had.
What country do you live in? Do you have a choice in physician?
It took me a month to recover from feeling badly but I wasn't able to start running and being active for 6 months to a year. This is because the fusion had to occur...you wouldn't want to mess it up!
I totally understand why you are confused but just remember this...after the surgery you won't ever have to worry about your spine curving again. You will be able to grow up normally and your body will look a lot better!
Stay strong! Have you read any books? There are great books out there too that can help answer your questions.
Let me know if you have any other questions! Keep us updated.
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