Andarin: The Mountains: oh, oh, people of the earth --

“Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.”
- Blade Runner

There is an entire generation of children growing around me – children born of my wolves, of others, sprung into the world too early, too late. Why is it that I feel – feel, deep in my bones – that they have no fate, that they are lost, doomed to lay their sacrifices upon this earth?

Why?

I remember, if I think hard, the day I was born. There were the shores frothing gently in the background of my mind and the usual noises – ‘mother, mother’, heartbeat, haze. Mother, ah, I have never loved you, never missed you, but I… I owe everything to you, mother, as much as I owe it to father. Without you, I wouldn’t exist. That is enough.

I have no intention of dying, I say, my winds say, and I wonder if the day will come when they will abandon me and I will stand, shocked and numb, without its constant company. But it may happen. I have no intention of leaving. You’re not ready yet. You will be when I am through with you.

Queen, they said. Wolf-queen, ice-queen, b###h-queen. It doesn’t matter. I am no such thing, never been, but even I know that now, the time is close, and I cannot shake that – presence – of fall from my shoulders. The winds cling to me, fiercer than usual; more than father, more than mother, it was the wind who remained it me from the moment I was born; to lose it would be to lose a part of myself.

Yet, I live not for the winds.

Do you accept it, Formaldehyde?

Even if it’s all in vain and the end is indeed near?

fenrisulfr
some there be that shadows kiss,
such have but a shadow’s bliss