Posted by Lale on 7/2/2009, 11:25:08, in reply to "The Art of Discussion"
72.138.111.169
: "So contradictions of opinions neither offend nor
: affect me; they merely arouse and exercise me. We flee
: from correction; we should face it and go to meet it,
: especially when it comes in the form of discussion,
: not ex cathedra . At every opposition we do not
: consider whether it is just, but, right or wrong, how
: we can get rid of it. Instead of stretching out our
: arms to it, we stretch out our claws.
This is the way it is. Most people (not all, but a vast majority) simply want to eliminate the opposing thought or the person/group that presents it. We can of course give many examples from the past and present politics but the easiest way to see how this works is on the internet. The "discussions" in groups are not discussions at all. I am part of various yahoo/google email groups and I see that very few people actually say "that's a good point, I hadn't thought of that before, you are right." Instead they just repeat their own views.
It is not like that in here at all. Maybe because we are a small group. Or maybe because we are more open minded. Or maybe because we don't talk about earth-shattering issues that make people more sensitive and short-tempered.
I have also found out that most people do not read long messages. I tend to write long, because I don't want to leave room for misunderstanding, but exactly because of that, my messages are read less and therefore more misunderstood. (And people who don't read my messages, still reply to them...)
:
: "I could stand to be rudely jarred by my friends:
: 'You're a fool, you're dreaming.'
I cannot stand to be rudely jarred by my friends. For me the top priority is politeness and kindness.
If someone says, with a kind tone in their voice, "you are a dreamer" I will take that. That doesn't sound too bad.
: Montaigne moves on to say that, while discussions may
: lack agreement, they should still have order:
Order is good. I like order too. In our real-world meetings, I very much like the order. We have one friend/colleague, who cannot keep quiet, she is always talking when another person is talking. That is very annoying. Luckily, she is very open to criticism, and she doesn't mind when I gesture to her by putting my finger over my lips, to say "shhh."
We have a husband and wife team (I hope they are not reading this), when one is saying something very interesting, the other is constantly interrupting. Needless to say the one who is interrupting is the less knowledgeable, less interesting of the two.
: "Every abridgment
: of a good book is a stupid abridgment."
I agree one hundred percent. I read only one abridged book, it was my last.
Lale
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