But my name is, legally, Limb Pretender. I am the son of Dr. Ron and Mrs Irene Pretender. My grandparents were from Belgium.
My grandfather worked on something called "Project Nep Ledemaat" that we were never really able to talk about until recently after his passing, and even then I felt like we didn't get all the details.
The short of it is that I "inherited" thousands of mannequins, and mannequin limbs. And some heads.
Now, what do I do, y'know? The garbage men only take so much each week and I'm afraid they're just gonna cut me off altogether. So I thought-- I know! I'll get ahold of the world's greatest dormant Pro Wrestling promotion, and see if they need like, FOREIGN OBJECTS for matches.
You know, for some of your more HARDCORE or "weird" wrestlers like Lance Stamina, The Handsy Pansy or Buff FUGGIN' Nugget?
Or the REAL Hardcore crazies like Prince Plasma Razvi, Autopsy Kid and Stukk Bludderfly?
I've seen those matches. Wooooo. Only in America, amirite? Anyway, I've got tons of mannequin parts for Hardcore action.
So, I don't know who is reading these submissions (I've scoped this messageboard, and... whoa) but if you could get back to me, that'd be great. Otherwise, I'm going to be terrorizing my garbagemen and local parks for quite a while. I'll probably have to move.
Dutch military trucks just keep... DELIVERING this shit weekly.
So maybe somebody on the roster could also be interested in taking these off my hands too? Like, if the LWF didn't want to use the mannequins as props... ?
Certainly the guys from F.R.O.O.T. TROOP could figure out some kind of thing for a bunch of mannequins... And like I said, I DO have some heads.
Maybe a guy like "HomeShed" Terrence Alexander Davis? You know, you could do vigettes with him where he's... I dunno... Standing in a field with a bunch of them. Jesus. I don't know any more. Just-- Please. Come take these things from me.
Fate is so fuh-king cruel that my name is a twist on what my legacy is going to be if I don't
use my arms
use my legs
use my style
use my sidestep
use my fingers
use my, my, my, imagination
'Cause I
I'm going make you see
There's nobody else here, no one like me
I'm special
(Special)
So special
(Special)
I got have some of your attention, give it to me
I got rhythm, I can't miss a beat
I got a new Skank, so reet
Got something, I'm winking at you
Gonna make you, make you, make you notice
(It's in your head now. Call me.)
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