Rose, I am in a bad mood. I apologise ok? I'm sorry. I dont really like it when people say things are easy whilst its not. I am so fuct now that I feel so insecure with myself. I was so close to join A HIGH PLACE but I jus felt a huge empty space in my soul. I know Rocket Baby have given me a tough time, but other than that they are my close friends and I shouldn't give up on them. I jus want a better way for the band. I spent so much time with them and I almost cried myself to sleep when I made a decision to leave rocket baby. I remember when we had our third gig together, we were filled with confidence, we had a great crowd and most of all....we had a great laugh and so much fun. It was at the UKI CLUB and I remember our first prayer together, when we formed a cirlce and prayed. It was an experience I never felt before. I felt so close with the band and I felt this warm feeling of strong teamwork and dedication. After the gig, I remember given each band member a handshake and a hug for the hardwork. I want that ROCKET BABY back. Thinking about losing all of that makes me all depressed. I have fond high school memories of seeing Jim and Zenk teaching me guitar and us dreaming of forming a band one day. Our dream did come true with Paul who was willingly to be our drummer for no apparent reason and we have put so much dedication to buy Paul a drumkit. Thats the determination I want to see. I miss those times. Thats why I am feeling so down lately and finding it hard to choose a right decision. I love every member of Rocket Baby to bits but I dont know if they care about what I am going thru or not. I always been there for them %100 when Paul had his depression and when zenk failed his driving test, i gave everyone my full support. I just want the band to have the heart to take this huge responsibiltiy away from me and think of better ways to work this out.
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