Posted by consi 1. He's a dirty poster thief (give it back you dirty poster thief) 2. If you ask him to make you a tape of some cool band, he will quickly agree but will never actually deliver said tape. This is because your posession of such a tape would increase your knowledge of cool bands, thus threatening his own self-appointed position of world authority on all that is good in music. 3. He flatly refuses to ever lend any of his CDs to anyone, not even the most trustworthy of his trusty band-mates (ie. Me), despite the fact that he has more than he could ever possibly listen to, even if he lived to be two hundred years old. 4. He can't actually play the guitar. By randomly hitting the strings and pawing clumsily at the fretboard, he produces a series of excruciating noises and pretends that he knows what he's doing. When questioned about this he will pretend that real music is beneath him and that anyone who can play real chords is just a corporate lackey waiting to happen. 5. He has a fat arse. No seriously, I mean *really* fat. Fatter than the fattest fat arse you could ever imagine wobbling down the street on a supporting trolley. In fact so fat that if it wasn't for his artificially enhanced skeleton, he wouldn't even be able to move under his own power. A group of the worlds top geologists are currently debating whether or not Dan's arse should be officially recognised as a new continent and emergency plans are in place to break the arse up to enable it to be blasted into space should it grow any larger as this would present a real threat to the orbital stability of the planet. Yeah, that fat. 6. He is single-handedly responsible for maintaining the evil record industry of the world as he buys almost all CDs that are manufactured, regardless of content or quality. He has been known to buy a the entire back catalogue of an artist just because he liked a half bar of the first chorus of one track on a promo that one of his work colleagues only put on for a joke and which he only half-heard because he was spouting on about some obscure band to belittle some poor customer who had had the nerve to come in to his shop to try to buy something they liked. That's all for now. I don't want to give the guy too hard a time. Give Jojo her Yen poster back you dirty poster thief!
on 23/4/2004, 3:58 pm, in reply to "Re: Martin-Danny you've been busted"
213.122.49.48
Dan Giri is undeniably crap and here's why:
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