Posted by pvpan on 9/17/2002, 4:49 pm Maybe this was the most obvious fairy tale for a variation, but anyway, here it goes... Cinderella Since her father died Cinderella was forced to live with her ugly stepmother and two heartless stepsisters who were all chain smokers. They each smoked at least four packs of full flavors a day. They were very mean to her and always made here empty the overflowing ashtrays and clean up the ashes and cigarette butts they scattered all over the floor. Cinderella was a cute, innocent, 19 year old girl with long, ashy blonde hair. Being innocent, she had obviously never smoked. One day her stepmother and stepsisters came in, all three with a cigarette dangling from their lips, talking about a ball in honour of the Prince Royal's 21st birthday they were going to attend that evening. At this ball the most beautiful girls of the country would try to get the attention of the bachelor Prince. Cinderella, who had always dreamed about going to a real ball some day, gathered her courage and timidly asked her stepmother. "Please, can I go with you tonight, just this once?" Later that evening, just after the others had left for the ball, the doorbell rang. When Cinderella opened the door she saw a nice, about forty years old lady in the doorway. She was a little plump but had curly dark hair and a friendly smile on her face. "I am sorry to intrude on you," the lady said. "My car broke down just in front of your house and I wondered if I might use your telephone to call a cab." Cinderella, who was always happy to help people out, asked the lady to wait inside and offered her a cup of tea after she made the call. "That's very kind of you dear," the lady said. "Do you mind if I smoke while I wait?" "Go ahead, it doesn't bother me. My stepmother and stepsisters smoke in the house all the time," Cinderella replied. "They all went to the Royal ball this evening. I so much wished I could go with them but they left me behind because I don't smoke," she added sadly, tears beginning to form in her eyes. "Oh, but that can be helped," the lady said as she extracted a cigarette from her purse and lit up. "I can teach you how to smoke. Hold this between your index and middle finger", she continued and handed the long white cigarette to Cinderella. "Now bring the cigarette to your lips and take a small puff." Cinderella obeyed. At first the smoke tasted strange, but not as awful as she had imagined. The lady encouraged her to take a few more puffs. "You look very glamorous with that cigarette in your hand," the lady went on, "but to really smoke you have learn to inhale." She took out another cigarette and showed her. Inhaling the smoke made Cinderella feel a bit dizzy, but it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. The lady gave her more cigarettes, instructing her how to smoke with style. After a while Cinderella felt quite comfortable smoking. "And now for the ball," the lady said. She took a black holder from her purse, inserted a cigarette and proceeded to light up. Then she waved the holder as if it was a magic wand and suddenly Cinderella found herself wearing the most stunning white silken evening dress she had ever seen. She waved the holder again and one of the large glass ashtrays that Cinderella had just cleaned turned into a crystal carriage with four white horses. "You will also need this," the lady finished while she handed her a long glass holder and a fresh pack of cigarettes. "Now you're off to the ball, but remember that the magic will only last until midnight so you must make sure that you are back home in time." Everyone turned and watched in awe when Cinderella came down the wide staircase leading into the ballroom, the glass holder with a burning cigarette stretched out in front of her face. The Prince immediately abandoned the brunette he was dancing with. He came up to Cinderella, taking her hand as she descended the last step. "You are certainly the most beautiful smoking woman I have ever seen," he said to her. "May I have this dance?" The Prince was a gorgeous looking young man. Cinderella started to glow all over when he gently placed his hand on her back and guided her to the dance floor. They danced all evening and the Prince constantly lit her cigarette for her. Cinderella thought this was going to be the most wondrous night of her entire life, all thanks to the mysterious lady who had taught her to smoke. The clock had already started to strike twelve when she suddenly remembered what the lady had said about the magic. She hurried up the stairs, leaving the perplexed Prince behind. Stumbling over the doorstep at exactly the twelfth stroke she failed to notice that she had dropped the glass holder in her haste. She then found herself outside in her ordinary clothes, wondering if it had all been a dream. Some days later the news spread that the Prince was searching for the girl he had had such a great evening with at the ball. It was said that the Prince was going all over the country with a glass holder this girl had left behind, because he was certain he would recognize her by the way she smoked a cigarette using that holder. Eventually the Prince came to Cinderella's house. The stepmother and stepsisters tried to smoke with the holder, but the Prince immediately saw that they were not the ones he was looking for. "Isn't there anyone else in the house?" the Prince asked. "There is just Cinderella, but she's not worth looking at," the stepmother replied. "She wasn't at the ball, and besides, she doesn't even smoke." The Prince insisted however, so the stepsisters finally called for Cinderella. As she came in the Prince handed her the glass holder and offered to light her cigarette. To the surprise of her stepmother and stepsisters Cinderella accepted, inhaling the smoke deep into her lungs. Before she could exhale his lips met hers and they exchanged a long, passionate smokey kiss. In the end they married and smoked happily ever after. And of course, the evil stepmother and stepsisters all died of lung cancer within the year.
I haven't done any writing like this before, so if you think this story is no good, please remove the whole thing from your board and forget about it. You'll also notice that I am not a native English speaker and I am sure I made some stupid mistakes here and there. Therefore, if you have any corrections or improvements, please go ahead and make them.
"No, this is a SMOKERS ball," her oldest stepsister interrupted, "and since you don't smoke you can't come. Now hurry up and empty this ashtray before I empty it over your head."
Message Thread:
« Back to thread