Posted by Karen on 7/6/2002, 3:58 pm There once was a beautiful little girl who loved to visit her grandma in the woods. Little beknown to the grandma, the girl was a smoker, but she used to keep it secret from her grandmother, smoking only on the way to and from her house. One day, the big bad wolf happened across her on the path, and he said: "Yo, mama! Wuz happenin? You take a toke of mah smoke, and you ain't gonna be wantin' no more! MMMMM... HMMMM !" He smiled at her with his array of bicuspids. "No thanks, Mister Wolf, I'm quite happy with my red 100's," she said, filling her lungs again. "Why, you just gonna be doin' fine with some of this here smoke. C'mon and give it a toke," he said, all perlied up in his pristine finery. "Thanks anyway, but I've got to get to my grandma's," she replied. "Catch you on the flip side, 'lil momma," He said, then they parted. She hurried along to grandma's house, carrying with her the pie she had baked, and having just time for a last cigarette. "Hi Grandma!" Little Red Puffing Hood came in with the pie all warm and steamy. "Child! Did you bake that for me?" The elderly lady marveled. "MMMM... Hmmm.. Now you just sit down and relax and I'll get us some spoons and forks." The old lady complied, and they talked about uncle John's calloused feet, aunt Jackie's funny spots on her tongue and Mom's incurable skin lesions while they consumed a piece of pie. There was a knock at the door. "Why wolfie! C'mon in! You can have a piece of pie with us," Grandma said excitedly. "You sure I ain't... why, honey child! I was thinking you looked familiar!" he said, noticing Little Red Puffing Hood. "Now you sit and enjoy the pie, and let's look in your bag of tricks for things, shall we?" Grandma's eyes got all saucer-like and went Crazy when she found out what was in the bag. She proceeded to roll up a joint and to smoke it while the wolf pigged out on Puffing Hoods pie. "It's the finest of the fine, the goldest of the gold, puts the word acapulco into treasure," Wofie declares, helping himself to a generous helping of pie. "Is that stuff OK for you grandma?" Puffing Hood asked, confused. "Aw, hell no, child, but life ain't no good for me, neither!" She laughed. Puffing Hood shrugged, grabbed the joint and said: "Let them eat cake." Or is it pie ? Or was that another story? *giggle*
My goodness! Well, if that's your nature, then I suppose I ought to come up with my own variation. It's called "Little Red Puffing Hood."
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