Posted by Rod on 7/5/2002, 5:32 pm The three little cigs set off. "We will take care that the big bad Karen doesn't catch us", they said. Soon they met a man who was carrying some straw "Please will you give me some straw?" asked the first little cig. "I want to build a house for myself". "Yes", said the man and he gave the first little cig some straw. Then the first little cig built himself a house of straw. He was very pleased with his house. He said, "Now the big bad Karen won't catch me and smoke me." The second little cig and the third little cig went on along the road. Soon they met a man who was carrying some sticks. "Please will you give me some sticks?" asked the second little cig. "I want to build a house for myself". "Yes", said the man and he gave the second little cig some sticks. Then the second little cig built himself a house of sticks. It was stronger than the house of straw. The second little cig was very please with his house. He said, "Now the big bad Karen won't catch me and smoke me." The third little cig walked on, along the road, by himself. Soon he met a man carrying some bricks. "Please will you give me some bricks?" asked the third little cig. "I want to build a house for myself". "Yes", said the man and he gave the third little cig some bricks. Then the third little cig built himself a house of bricks. It took him a long time to build it and it was a very strong house. The third little cig was very pleased with his house. He said, "Now the big bad Karen won't catch me and smoke me". The next day the big bad Karen came along the road puffing away on a cigarette dangling from her lips. She came to the house of straw. When the first little cig saw her coming, he ran inside his house and shut the door. The big bad Karen knocked on the door and said, "Little cig, little cig, let me in". "No, no", said the little cig, "Not by the hair on my chiny chin chin, I will not let you come in". "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in", said the big bad Karen. So she lit a cigarette and she huffed and she puffed and she huffed and she puffed. The house of straw was crushed like a softpack in a huge cloud of smoke and the little cig ran and ran to the second little cigs house, the one made of sticks. Later that day, the big bad Karen came to the house of sticks. She knocked on the door and said "Little cig, little cig let me in". "No, no, not by the hair on my chiny chin chin, We will not let you in", replied the two little cigs. "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in", said the big bad Karen. So she lit a cigarette and she huffed and she puffed and she huffed and she puffed. The house of sticks crumpled like a softpack in a huge cloud of smoke and the two little cigs ran and ran and ran, till they reached the third little cigs house. The next day the big bad Karen walked further down the path until she came upon a house made of bricks. She quietly walked up to the window to peek in and she saw the three little cigs sitting down having a relaxing smoke. The big bad Karen went to the door and said, "Little cigs, little cigs let me in". The third little cig answered and said, "No, no, not by the hair on my chiny chin chin, I will not let you come in". "Then I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house in", said the big bad Karen. So she lit a cigarette and she huffed and she puffed and she huffed and she puffed. Although the house of bricks was engulfed in thick billowing smoke it did not fall down because it was strong and built like a flip top pack (now you know why big bad Karen hates flip top packs!). The big bad Karen tried again. She lit two cigarettes and she huffed and she puffed, and she huffed and puffed some more. She filled her lungs so full and expanded her chest so much that the buttons on her blouse popped off, ping! ping! ping! ping! but the house of bricks would not fall down. This made the big bad Karen very angry indeed, she was fuming! and smoke was coming out of her ears. She lit another cigarette and she thought and thought as she walked around the brick house. When she finished her cigarette she ground it into the dirt and said, "Little cigs, I am going to climb down your chimney to get you and smoke you all up!" The little cigs were very frightened, but said nothing. The third little cig put a big pot of water on the fire to boil but the fire was nearly out. As the wood was outside on the woodpile he stoked up the fire with leaves from his magic plant. The day before he had gone down the pub and met this bloke called Jack who sold him a magic bean plant in a pot. That morning when he woke up it had grown into a huge pot plant with funny shaped leaves. The big bad Karen climbed onto the roof and made her way up to the chimney. As she got close and inhaled some of the smoke, something very strange happened. Instead of climbing down the chimney she stuck her head over it and then a big smile spread across her face. To this day no one knows why she had a change of heart because she never did smoke the three little cigs. In fact they all lived happily ever after, the three little cigs in their little brick house and big "not so bad" Karen up on the roof grinning like a Cheshire Cat and blowing smoky kisses to her three little cigs. Talking of Cheshire cats........................ No, I'll stop there because "Karen in Wonderland" is another story altogether
Once upon a time there was a mother cig who had three little cigs. The three little cigs grew so long (120mm) that their mother said to them, "You are too big to live here any longer. You must go and build houses for yourselves but take care that the big bad Karen doesn't catch you". 
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