Posted by N...R....C.....
on 7/2/2008, 12:05 am
70.14.179.93
Slow Edi,
I've made fun of your pancake-shaped chest. I've made fun of your ever changing height. I've made fun of your mother. Last, but not least, I've forgiven you for that night in Angleton where you stood us up. None of these items have made you reconsider your career, a career which has seen you rocket to the top of the wrestling stratosphere where you play to almost 65 fans a night, jumping off of trailers and risking your life for our respect and adulation. Not even the Crippler Chris Benoit's tragic death has forced you to reconsider your ill-fated career.
Late at night in the hotel room in Bum####, New Mexico, when there's no one but you and the bottle of Gentleman Jack, what are you thinking? Are you thinking to yourself, "Why am I doing this?" Are you thinking to yourself, "What will I do if my steroid dealer gets busted by the feds?" Are you thinking to yourself, "Where am I?" I bet it's probably a combination of all three, right? Isn't there a little voice in the back of your head that's asking a much tougher and more difficult question, one that you've been trying to suppress all these years? That's right, it's the question that's always on the tip of your tongue, but you're too afraid to ask it. You huddle like a ball (which is easy, considering your tiny "pectorial muscles") on the corner of your bed willing that question to go away. Trust me, it never will.
Since you're in denial, I'll tell you what that question is. I won't leave you or anyone else hanging edd.
"Does my mom love me?"
Eddie, this is the first time that I have not intentionally mis-spelled your name. You want to know why? Because the truth hurts, and the truth is, she never did. I know that you would have come to that realization if you had not almost strangled yourself to death with that 95 lb. bar and weights (bench press, of course) one day in your early 20s. In fact, you were clinically dead, from what I've been told, so I can't hold any of your career choices or any of your ill-fated encounters with Brazilian "women" with broad shoulders and narrow hips in darkened hotels late at night against you. But the lack of love from your mother led you to seek out love from others, love from a family that treated you just as badly as she did, even if it hasn't become apparent to you.
What I can tell you is that you need help Eddie. Professional help. Not from your family at ROH. Not from you family at LWA (btw, what the #### is up with the goddamn alphabet soup of wrestling federations?). Not even from your family at La Quinta Inn. I would suggest a licensed therapist, someone that can help you get your life back in order.
I don't know how many more times I can ask you to do this for me. I don't know how many other ways that I can approach it before I run out of steam. Just respond to me Eddy. Respond to me. Reach out to me and let me know that you want a change in your empty and chestless life.
Yours in sad bench pressing,
N...
R....
C.....
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