Posted by Chris W/Pat, et al on 10/4/2001, 10:38 am

Life is hard Posted by Chris W on 9/6/2001, 2:13 pm , in reply to "Those Are Some Great Stories" Maybe I shouldn't post this.... Sometimes I feel so alone. Life can be so bitter and hard. Admitting this goes against everything I've been taught to believe. I'm supposed to stay upbeat and positive and not admit how bad I feel. But, what good does it do to deny that life is tough sometimes? My job is so stressful and has been awful of late. Don't get me wrong -- I love my work (human resources) and I respect the company I work for, plus I have a couple of people who are strong supports at the peer level. But, sometimes people can be so cruel. And when you're in a management position it's even worse. You are a target and if you aren't perfect, even though all your intentions are honorable, they will chew you up and spit you out. This morning while driving to work I longed to be in the ministry -- fulltime. Oh Lord, if I could just be spending all my time in your work, instead of this earthly work that seems to be doing nothing for the kingdom. Yeah, I know it wouldn't be perfect either, but my heart tells me it's where I belong. For all intents and purposes, I am unequally yoked at work, even with the people who support me most. Even working with Christians -- seems it would be so much better. (Am I fooling myself?) Added to that is the fact that I'm single and have no support to go home to. Listen to me, I think I'm having a pity party. Get out your violins! I should probably try to snap out of it, huh? Actually, tomorrow will be better even though today was really hard and yesterday was worse. I'll never stop leaning on Him, I'll never completely give up, even when I'm down for the count. I'll never believe that He is done with me. But, I feel like I'm in a rut...living in this community, going to work, coming home, feeling not so sure about the school system my daughter is in, blah, blah, blah. At least I'm leading worship in a church again. Oh yeah, the church isn't perfect either, it has a lot of problems, mainly stubborn people who don't like change. I'm beginning to wonder if God's hands will be loosened to do something new and wonderful there. Right now, His hands are tied, or so it appears to be that way. Whew! I think I'm done. I feel better now. Chris ---------- I admire your courage Posted by Brian Brookbank on 9/6/2001, 8:45 pm , in reply to "Life is hard" Dear Chris, I never got to know you that well and always felt kind of funny around you after Moni Sue and I broke up. I can see that you are hurting at times but I also see that you are doing your best to turn to Him who loves us more than anything. For me one of the best things that has happened in the last ten years is the sense of being so all alone and learning that Jesus really is my best friend. I have never been real good at developing deep friendships but at Chapel that did not really matter because we were a spiritual family bound w/ cords of love (like the song goes). I felt like I had a huge family. When the church split I cried every day on my paper route, sometimes for two hours. I remember having to pull over many times because I couldn't see through my tears. There was just such grief at seeing something so beautiful destroyed by the Devil. I felt very alone. It was as though there was no one in my life. (Pam and I are one. No one other than the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh.) I have through all of the loneliness and hurt come to see that Jesus really is right there beside me. I now truly hear the voice of God during the day. He has become my friend in fact. Through this I am now being released into ministry. I pray that Jesus use this time of hurt in your life for His glory and I honor you as my sister in Christ for your humble, honest, open-faced communication. Wouldn't it be great to spend an hour in post-service worship dancing to "The Queen's Song" or to "Beautiful Name"? Jesus, wrap Chris in your arms of love and touch her heart with your tender Spirit that she be strengthened and encouraged and pour your love on her daughter and keep her in Your care that she would grow in the faith of her mother. Jesus, we love You and we long for You and for eternity in Your arms of love. ---------- Posted by Chris on 9/7/2001, 1:11 pm , in reply to "I admire your courage" Thank you, Brian. I remember you well, except I hadn't remembered you'd dated my very good friend. It's good to hear from you via the board. Yes, it would be good to worship together again. I'm feeling better today and I know that while most of my days are good, there will be bad days, too. I desire to find the strength of the Lord in those times. Last night I happened to have the 700 Club on TV while I cleaned house until 11 p.m. Pat Robertson mentioned the scripture that John the B said, "I must decrease so he may increase." Wow, it hit me hard. In some respects the gospel is far too simplistic. What an awesome concept boiled down to a simple sentence. This is why I continue to follow Him. How can we resist the simplicity? These things are within our grasp. They are not hard. It's really not difficult to call on Him and trust Him. He wants to have a personal relationship with us. This is profound. By the way, I didn't mean to horn in on your thread. I was surprised when I saw where my post ended up and I was embarrassed! It wasn't intended to end up where it did. Anyway, thank you again! Blessings to you and your family. Chris ---------- Posted by Lita on 9/7/2001, 10:08 pm , in reply to "Re: I admire your courage" Oh my gosh Chris, it is amazing to read on here what has been going on. My internet access is so limited, so i rarely get on here. When I did that asst management job, my life was sucked right out of me. It was all I could do to have the strength to go to church. We had financial burdens to fulfill, so I was stuck for a SEASON> Every time an altar call would arise for job situations I would go up. It took a few years, but finally the door was open fo rme to leave that enviroment. My Christian fellowship was like nill, except a good friend here in Az, and alot of friends from home writing. I really get blessed listening to Joyce Meyer on TV and the radio. Ever heard her? What a riot. She's the type of gal that you have to hear for a while to let her personality grow on you. I don't read much, so that is a great up uplifitng time for me. But I know, at times I didn't want to hear that even. Thanks for the note here, I am sure all of us that pop in and out of this web will lift you up in prayer, as you have been such a blessing to us.... Lita ____________________ Any News Posted by Pat on 8/31/2001, 4:52 am Does Anyone have an update regarding New Heart's Light House School of Min. I checked their Web Site, The page said it's "under construction" just wondering are they currently holding classes? Pat