Posted by BC [We return from commercial. Attendants have been busy : the French-Canadian announce table has finally been replaced, and all the garbage has been swept up. The arena is already darkening for the co-main event!] MASTERS : What a night we have seen, fans, from all of the titles that have changed hands, to the formation of an incredible new trio in Hard, Cheung and Carrington -- to the arrival of wrestling legend Armageddon! But that takes nothing away to the match we've all been waiting for.. the Northern Pro Wrestling title match between NPW champion Direwolf and the FIRST NPW champion, Think Tank Turner! CROWLEY : IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CALL! Both men have dominated the NPW title ranks! Both men have controlled their opponents like no other! It's the Thinking Man's Wrestler and the Alpha Male! LET'S DO THIS THING!!! [The lights go down in the A.C.C., and the cheers go up -- for "Tocatta and Fuge in D Minor" has begun to play, signalling the arrival of the challenger! The diminutive Jimy "One-M" Holiday strides out onto the stage, strutting as he comes, and taking one side of the ramp. As he does, "Big" Chris Youngblood follows coming out to the other side. Both men arc their arms over their heads.. for the arrival of..] [The NorthernTron esplodes the words across the screen --- and the classical music stops abruptly! Sudden, red, blue, and gold lights hit the stage as pyro explodes in rapid-fire succession across the front of the steel platform.. and Rage Against The Machine's "Guerilla Raidio" mixes in!] [Think Tank Turner emerges in his unitard, adjusting an armpad almost idlly as he comes out. The former NPW champion turns in a skow circle, letting out an uncharacteristic "WHOOOOO!!" as he does so. "Punching in" with Jimy and Chris, the former champ heads towards the ring.] [Turner, loosening his neck and jogging a little, makes it to the ring and rolls in. Bouncing back against the ropes and tugging on them, he steps up on to the second turnbuckle, smiling slightly.] MASTERS: THINK TANK TURNER HAS ARRIVED! And the man who has lost a singles match only ONCE in NPW in his career here -- which is since day one -- is ready to face the Alpha Male! [The pulsating beat of a European dance track blares over the arena's system as laser lights and strobe lights add visually to it's rhythmic I just can't get you out of my head [DIREWOLF raises his hands in the air to allow KYLIE to get even closer. The crowd is both horrified and thrilled at this spectacle and NEW DIREWOLF music.] Crowley: IT'S THE WHITE DRESS! IT'S THE WHITE DRESS! I CAN SEE NIPPLE! I CAN SEE NIPPLE! Masters: Take a chill pill. La,la,la la,la,la,la,la [DIREWOLF tries to move forward, but KYLIE blocks his way and waves her finger in front of him as to say "Not yet, big boy." She licks her [She falls in his arms and sways back and forth in her dance of seduction.] #Every night [KYLIE kisses DIREWOLF'S lips, then bites and tugs his bottom lip in her teeth.] Crowley: Holy sex scandals Batman! What's ASHLEY going to say about this! Masters: I don't think she'll be saying much with words. I think she's going to do the talking with scorned fists! Ashley: Suddenly I find DIREWOLF incredibly sexy...even with the wolverines. Masters: PLEASE! [DIREWOLF and KYLIE dance all the way to the ring with fans screaming for more. KYLIE is all over him and DIREWOLF spins her around with his I just can't get you out of my head There's a dark secret in me La,la,la la,la,la,la,la [DIREWOLF opens the ropes for KYLIE to enter and then holds the titles in the air to huge pops.] [KYLIE bows to the cheering crowds and DIREWOLF asks for a mic.] Direwolf: I'm done with you now. You can leave. [KYLIE'S jaw drops and the crowd laughs and boo's at the same time. She is absolutely shocked, and needs help leaving the ring.] Crowley: HAHAHAHAHA! I LOVE THIS FREAK! [Turner has been leaning on the ropes, rubbing his eyes and failing in his attempts not to laugh. Referee Dan Bash takes the NPW title belt, however... and suddenly, it's all business...]
on 4/20/2002, 12:54 am
CO-MAIN EVENT
NPW TITLE MATCH
DIREWOLF (c) vs. THINK TANK TURNER
A decade of the weapon of sound above ground
No shelter if you're lookin' for shade
I lick shots at the brutal charade
As the polls close like a casket
On truth devoured
A Silent play in the shadow of power
A spectacle monopolized
The camera's eyes on choice disguised
Was it cast for the mass who burn and toil?
Or for the vultures who thirst for blood and oil?
Yes a spectacle monopolized
They hold the reins and stole your eyes
Or the fistagons
The bullets and bombs
Who stuff the banks
Who staff the party ranks
More for Gore or the son of a drug lord
None of the above #### it cut the cord#
Guerrilla Radio Turn that shit up
Lights out
Guerrilla Radio Turn that shit up
Lights out
Guerrilla Radio Turn that shit up
Lights out
Guerrilla Radio#
All hell can't stop us now
All hell can't stop us now
All hell can't stop us now
All hell can't stop us now
All hell can't stop us now #
atmosphere. NPW Champion DIREWOLF appears underneath the big screen wearing white
trunks with black trim and black wrestling boots to HUGE pops. DIREWOLF snarls at the applauding crowd.... when singing sensation KYLIE MINOGUE emerges slowly behind him to her song "Can't Get You Out Of My Head" and starts dancing and
rubbing her hands all over DIREWOLF'S body!]
La,La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about#
Boy, its more than I dare to think about
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la#
finger then slides it across DIREWOLF'S trunks. DIREWOLF raises his eyebrow and stops moving to the ring.]
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about#
Every day
Just to be there in your arms
Won't you stay
Won't you stay
Stay forever and ever and ever ah ah#
massive arms.]
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
Boy, your lovin' is all I think about
I just can't get you out of my head
Boy, its more than I dare to think about
Don't leave me lost in your arms
Set me free
Feel the need in me
Set me free
Stay forever and ever and ever ah ah
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la
La,la,la la,la,la,la,la#
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