Posted by BC CROWLEY : What does this loser want? How the hell does HE rate pay-per-view time?? MASTERS : I have no idea, but he's got a mic with him... [As Rancid leads the English punk to the ring, he rolls in, demanding his music be cut off. Glaring at Jen Tilley, he takes the mic to his lips.] GALAHAD : OY! Wha's alla this crap goin' on 'round 'ere, ay? First, I git a World title match -- an' then they take it away! An' next, Rodden hits me wif a bloody chair! Whell, I'm tired o' it, ain't I?! CROWLEY : And.. TIME! That's seven seconds. Make him shut up now. GALAHAD : Now I been hearin' all 'bout this "Msytery Man" tha's comin' tonight! Whell, enough' 'nuff! I'M CALLIN' HIM OUT! MASTERS [virtually ignoring Galahad] : The MYSTERY MAN! So much has gone on tonight, I plum forgot! GALAHAD [leaning on the ropes, pointing to the back] : OY! MISTER MYST'RY! YOU GOT ANY BULLOCK AT ALL, GIT OUT 'ERE AN' TAKE A BEATIN'! [Slowly, the arena darkens!] MASTERS : HERE HE COMES! ANY GUESSES? CROWLEY : CHRISTIAN LIGHT! MASTERS : RICTOR ARKANE! ARIEL : TRIUMPH THE INSULT COMIC DOG! [NONE of those answers would prove to be correct, as the NorthernTron suddenly comes alive with a massive digital clock! Wires on the graphic clock stick out everywhere, as if it's attached to a bomb. It counts down from 5..] 4... 3... 2... 1........ MASTERS : OH GOOD GAWD! [Massive pyro has exploded on the stage in a balls of flame! On the NorthernTron, the clock has also exploded, revealing a single image, with a solitary word written underneath...] A R M A G E D D O N [This is when the Air Canada Centre's roof nearly falls off, because thousands and thousands of fans are on their FRICKIN' FEET!] MASTERS : HOOOOOOOO-LEEEEEEEEEEE MACKINAAAAAWWW!!! [With the pyro continuing to explode around the stage, the incredible frame of the former UWF World Heavyweight champion emerges. Armageddon, truly one of the most dominant wrestlers of this generation, and who has not been seen in years, ducks under the doorway of the NorthernTron... and into Northern Pro Wrestling. Armageddon is a very large man, roughly around the size of Rob Brimstone; his head is completely bald, and he is covered in muscles. His dark Egyptian skin shines under the spotlights, and Masters cannot be heard under the din of the Toronto crowd who recalls him so very well.] [Armageddon strides his powerful legs to the ring, looking at Galahad with a serene gaze. Arriving, and with Galahad backpedalling with fear and looking left and right, Armageddon steps over the top rope and into the ring. Like Hard's twin brother, Galahad does what a cornmered coward does -- attacks! Charging Armageddon, Galahd is immediately seized by the neck!] MASTERS : ARMAGEDDON! ARMAGEDDON IS HERE IN NPW! [Spinning Galahad around like a rag doll, Armageddom scoops him across his shoulders, and applies his famous Torture Rack. Galahad submits immediately, the arriving referee calling for the bell! Walking around in a circle with him for a moment.. Armageddon plants him with A REVERSE DEATH VALLEY DRIVER!!!] CROWLEY : SKULLCRUSH! SKULLCRUSH! [Galahad is out like a light as Armageddon stands, looking at the cheering audience. As his name flashes across the screen, and Holst's "Mars, Bringer of War" begins to play, Armageddon steps out of the ring and into the back with long, confident steps.] MASTERS : ARMAGEDDON IS IN NPW! ARMAGEDDON HAS ARRIVED -- AND MAY THE GODS ABOVE HAVE MERCY ON THE SOULS OF THOSE WHO CROSS HIM!!!
on 4/20/2002, 12:21 am
[We return from a lengthy commercial break to find a strange and unsual sight : NPW's perrenial jobber GALAHAD stomping out to the ring!] 
IT'S ARRRRRMAAAAAAAAGEDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOON!!!
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