Posted by NPW on 9/23/2003, 12:49 am MASTERS: Joseph Rose paid no attention to this match through four or five pin attempts and NOW he wants to end it simply because he's cold! CROWLEY: Yeah, you have to admire Joey. Do you think he knows the axehandle? [As the red stain on the sidewalk grows, E-Normous Norman begins to stir. Rose tries to do a ten count on Dom before the cameraman reminds him that only works in boxing. Swaying in the breeze, with blood pouring down his face, Norman leans over and thrusts Demonstone's head between his legs. Rose is asking Dom if he submits to this lethal form of headlock.] ROSE: It's all over Dom, just tap dammit! [Pausing for a breath, Norman lifts the challenger into the air and onto his shoulders in a powerbomb position and slowly walks towards a flight of stairs!!! With Rose cheering him on, Norman FIRES DOMINIC DEMONSTONE DOWN FOURTEEN CONCRETE STEPS!!!] MASTERS: GOOD GAWD!!! CROWLEY: Let's just hope for Dom's sake that the stairs don't lead to some secret Spider Man appreciation club. [The champ teeters on the edge of the stairs for a moment trying to regain his balance before collapsing right on the top step. Rose looks less than impressed.] ROSE: WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? I'M FREEZING MY BALLS OFF!!! GET DOWN THERE AN PIN HIM!!! [Rose is greeted with only heavy breathing and blood as a response. Frustrated, he KICKS NORMAN DOWN THE STAIRS!!!! Landing hard on nearly every step as he tumbles, E-NN finally comes to a crashing halt by the side of his motionless opponent. Rose comes charging down the stairs looking for a pinfall but neither man has a part over the other. Rose screams at the two for almost thirty seconds before a bloody hand emerges from the mass of broken humanity and plops over a heaving chest. Rose drops for the quick count...]. 1... 2... 3NOOOOO!!!! [Much to the dismay of Rose, a shoulder lifts up at the last second. And that shoulder has been known to be covered by the occasional "Kirk for President" t-shirt. However, that kick-out may have been the last ounce of energy that E-normous Norman had for his body falls silent. Slowly Demonstone rises up over the champ, his leather trench coat in tatters.] ROSE: PINNNNNNNNN HIMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! [Demonstone's response is that sick smile. With great effort, he pulls up the champ. Throwing Norman's head between his legs, he prepares for his devastating 180 degree cradle piledriver.] MASTERS: GOTHIC PILEDRIVER!!! [Being Hoisted upside down, Norman begins to struggle. Dom has to lower him down before he is SUDDENLY THRUST INTO THE AIR FOR A POWERBOMB. BUT NO!!!!! DEMONSTONE HOOKS THE-] MASTERS: DAAAAARRRRRRK GIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFT!!!!!!!!!!! ROSE: YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!! [With the Extremist spinning in mid air, he has slapped on his lethal Taz-mission sleeper. Already exhausted from blood loss, E-Normous Norman dropss to his knees. Rose wastes no time in lifting his arm......once: no response.....twice: no response......three times: NORMAN REACHES AROUND AND IN ONE SWIFT MOVE REVERSES INTO THE-] MASTERS: VULCAN NERVE PINCH! VULCAN NERVE PINCH! VULCAN NERVE PINCH! CROWLEY: It is so wrong that this is a finisher. [With the nasty sleeper applied by Norman, Rose shrugs as now Demonstone drops to one knee. Still smiling, his arm is raised once...... twice............... three times: NOTHING!!!] [Back in the arena the bell rings as Rose frantically signals for an electric blanket. E-Normous Norman's eyes roll up into his head as he passes out. Paramedics, now minus a thermal heater, are quick to run down the stairs to tend to the two bloody warriors.] ARIEL: Winner of this match, and STILL unsanctioned World Pain Network Extreme Champion............... E-NORMOUS NORMAN!!!! CROWLEY: If it's unsanctioned, why is she announcing it? MASTERS: Good question Ken, but then I suppose we shouldn't have been commentating either. CROWLEY: I loathe you.
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[A man in chaps followed by a woman clad in a leather cat suit stop on their way into the bar to kick each man a few times. Rose slides in to make a cover but neither freak leaves their boot on the combatants long enough.]
[We cut away from the bloody scene... and to commercial.]
