Posted by NPW on 9/3/2003, 9:36 pm # And the feeling coming from my bones says 'find a home'... # [NPW in Tokyo.] [Welcome to Japan.] [And welcome to Budokan Hall!] [As we snap into the arena, pyro explodes across the arena and the NPW cameras swing across the crowd within. With large NPW banners hanging from the ceiling and clouds of smoke now rising upwards before the "NationalTron", we pass the Ric Owens banner hanging from the ceiling rafters above the ring, intermingled with the Japanese flag. 'The Voice of NPW', "Dr. Clean" Bob Masters, shouts over the excited crowd : ] 'DR. CLEAN' BOB MASTERS: LIVE FROM INSIDE THE HISTORIC BUDOKAN HALL, THIS IS NATIONAL PRO WRESTLING! AND TONIGHT, JUST ONE WEEK AFTER JAIME "THE GIFT" McNULTY STOLE THE NATIONAL TITLE FROM THE GREATEST CHAMPION THIS PROMOTION HAS EVER SEEN, NPW HAS COME TO TOKYO JAPAN TO CROWN A NEW NUMBER-ONE CONTENDER! THIS IS NATIONAL PRO AT IT'S FINEST -- AND THIS! IS! SUNDAY! NIGHT! FIIIIIIIREFIGHT! [As our cameras swing towards ringside, they fade in on the announce position - and we find "Dr. Clean" Bob Masters in a dark coat and tie, Ken "Crowbar" Crowley in his pull-down hat and sunglasses, and wrapped in a white-and-blue Japanese national soccer team jersey, and Ariel Mace, in a tight-fitting black dress.Her fingers waggling, she waves happily at the camera.] MASTERS: Hello everyone, and welcome to "Sunday Night Firefight" - right here in Budokan Hall, Tokyo, Japan! I'm "Dr. Clean" Bob Masters, joined as always by my broadcast colleagues - 'The Master of Disaster', Ken "Crowbar" Crowley, and the lovely and talented Ariel Mace! KEN "CROWBAR" CROWLEY: OH GOOD BUDDHA, BOBB-O! NATIONAL PRO WRESTLING IN JAPAN! I haven't been here since the time I had to flee my ex-wife Andrea's lawyers during our divorce! Ahh, watching "The Ninja Warrior" Kwan Duk battle "Deathmaster" Kung Soo in a cage... ducking phone calls from her legal jackals... getting engaged to Suki from the rub n' tug... yeah, good times, good times... now that girl really knew what a real "Space Flying Tiger Drop" was. See, she did this thing with her tongue, where she'd - ARIEL MACE : GROSS! Only YOU could get engaged to someone while you're still married to someone else. Stop trying to invoke the spirit of Keith Edwards, and let's get this road on the show! MASTERS : Yes indeed, Ariel! Because tonight, we're crowning a new number-one contender to the NPW championship - in the "Pyramid of Pain"! A two-tier, three-cage monstrosity surrounding two rings! Each ring will be covered by a caged cell with a trap door in the top. You've got to get to the second floor through that door - and into the third cage on top! The first one out of that cage is the winner, when he slams the door shut on his opponents! It's one hell of a match! CROWLEY : Yeah. Invented by Jeff Mace, you know - it's about the only thing that guy ever did in wrestling that's worth a damn. But this is pretty hardcore stuff for NPW, and Japan's gonna see the first one in a long time, right here tonight -- as nine wrestlers get in a cage! MASTERS : That's right, Kenny - nine, instead of a scheduled ten! That's because Calvin Astroth -- CROWLEY : QUIET, YOU! As Untouchables Information Minister, only *I* may commentate on Calvin Astroth news. [Crowley turns his poor-boy cap sideways, as if to make a beret, and turns his sunglass-covered eyes to a camera. At home, NPW viewers see the words UNTOUCHABLES INFORMATION MINISTRY NEWS UPDATE blaze across the top of the screen, and at the bottom, the words UNTOUCHABLES INFORMATION MINISTER CROWBAR CROWLEY. In the bottom, a small icon of Millicent, her head covered in a little beret and her eyes covered by glasses, nods approvingly in a continuous fashion.] CROWLEY [in an official-sounding voice] : Calvin Astroth did not get hit by a large rock this week here in Tokyo! Calvin Astroth is not even in Tokyo! Instead, "The Paranoid Genius" is in good health, and residing at his palacial estate underneath Skull Mountain. I MEAN, NOT UNDER SKULL MOUNTAIN! He's in... UTAH! Yes, Utah will do nicely. - No rock ever struck Calvin's head, and he has asked me to read this letter. [Crowley holds up a small card.] "To my friends and fans in the NFC - I am feeling quite well, despite the MARS-related illness the Girl Guides gave me recently -- " I think he means SARS, Bobbo - "and am relaxing at home with my ferrets and Bunsen burner." [Crowley drops the card.] He is well and in good spirits! The enemies of the Untouchables will commit suicide on the walls of NPW arenas everywhere! May the reign of the Untouchables last a thousand years! ARIEL [as the camera pulls back] : You're horrible! In fact, stop sitting beside me! Take your yucky self on the other side of Uncy Bob! CROWLEY : INFIDEL! I should -- VOICES OVER THE P.A, SYSTEM : MASTERS : TJ Killingbeck's due to come out here, but this isn't his music...
64.231.207.63
# A seven nation army couldn't hold me back #
# They're gonna rip it off #
# Taking their time right behind my back #
# And I'm talkin' to myself at night #
# Because I can't forget #
# Back and forth through my mind #
# Behind a cigarette #
[Rob Brimstone, the longest-reigning NPW champion in history, walks out of the back of an arena with the National Pro Wrestling title strapped around his waist, and through the pyro blasts on the stage. His face clenched tight in determination, he makes his way ringside as we flash to scenes of the champ : throwing Bud Morgan off the top of a cherry-picker to the floor, choke-slamming Ric Owens; pinning Timmy Fantastico; and assisting TJ Killingbeck in spike-piledriving Astroth. The scene changes, however... as the image of Jaime "The Gift" McNulty slams a wrench into his head inside a steel cell. The image of Brimstone falling backwards is shown from a half-dozen angles, and ends with McNulty's arm covering him...]
# Every single one's got a story to tell #
# Everyone knows about it #
# From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell #
# And if I catch it comin' back my way #
# I'm gonna serve it to you #
# And that ain't what you want to hear #
# But that's what I'll do #
[The scenes come faster now : Calvin Astroth "Smashtroth"-ing Direwolf off a bridge. Gregor Demonstone throws hard shots into the mug of Brock Slater. E-Normus Norman pounds on the head of Terry Reed. Jaime McNulty hammers at Rob Brimstone. Keith Edwards on a ladder, snagging the NPW Tag Team titles. Timmy Fantastico, caught in a sleeper by Sal Paradise, sends his arms over his head, smashing Sal with a lead pipe. TJ Killingbeck, along with Fantastico, execute double planchas to the outside of the ring, stepping off the back of Calvin Astroth.]
# Far from this opera forevermore #
# I'm gonna work the straw #
# Make the sweat drip out of every pore #
# And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding #
# Right before the lord #
# All the words are gonna bleed from me #
# And I will think no more #
[The faces of several wrestlers appear : Marty Sugar, standing on a buckle, pointing off at the fleeing Wrecking Crew. Freddie Stankowski, leaning on the ropes and snarling after them as Lonny Bash stands on the bottom rope beside him, doing the same. Danny Vicious, hammering on Ron Havok with rights and lefts. Boris Rashkov, charging towards Curt Catastrophe with the shoulderblock. Megaera "The Fury", levelling her foe in her first match with the 720 Phoenix DDT- and Joseph Rose, dropping Curt Catastrophe chest-first in "The Rose Madder" through a table.]
[The figure of the new NPW champion, Jaime "The Gift" McNulty, stands before the NPW backdrop, a wide, smug smile on his face and with the Northern Pro Wrestling championship slung over his left shoulder. As he nods twice and slaps his title, we head sharply to black... as the words NORTHERN PRO WRESTLING PRESENTS SUNDAY NIGHT FIREFIGHT burn onto the screen.]
# And this the mother[BLEEP!]in' thanks I get? #
# Hello... I started this gangsta s[BLEEP!]t #
# And this the mother[BLEEP!]in' thanks I get? #
# Hello... #
