Posted by Northern Pro Wrestling on 10/19/2002, 3:42 pm BRETT: And THAT, my son, is the key to success, in any tag team affair. DARWIN: Geez, Dad, you make it all sound so simple. [Suddenly, MARTY SUGAR walks up. He's dressed to wrestle in a long-sleeve orange shirt, grey cargo pants, and gray skate shoes. The NPW Television Title is slung over his left shoulder...] SUGAR: Of course it's simple, Freddie; otherwise, how would you understand it? [The 6-5 Stanton steps up, towering over the 5-10 Sugar... ] BRETT: My son prefers to be called DARWIN, Marty... so don't forget it. SUGAR: And the last time you and I were in the same arena, Brett, I slammed your head into a cage door... so don't forget THAT, either. [Darwin moves his body in between the two men, prying them apart...] DARWIN: Marty... Dad, please! Why can't we ever act like a family? [Marty points at Brett, his step-father...] SUGAR: Because that man is a chump; always has been, always will be. Besides, he's not MY father. BRETT: No, but I am your mother's husband... and she says "hello," by the way. SUGAR: You know what, old man? I remember what you were like on the road; the womanizing, the drinking, the other stuff that doesn't need to be mentioned in front of your idiot son. You'll screw up again, soon enough, and my mother will come to her senses, and divorce your frickin' ass. BRETT: Honestly, Marty, I'm a changed man. The only woman I love is your mother. Truce? [Stanton extends his hand in friendship, and Sugar looks at it. Marty makes the move, then turns it into half of his "two-finger salute," smiling his evil smile as he does it...] DARWIN: Marty, please... we're trying to get psyched for our match, okay? SUGAR: Whatever. Listen, I only stopped by to introduce you to the newest member of the Big West roster. BRETT: Did you get someone to leave Northern Pro? SUGAR: Not that it's any of your business... but no, not yet. I've got a plan for THAT, though. BRETT: What is it? SUGAR: How about this, Brett; how about you sit back, relax, and pour yourself a nice, hot, steaming mug... OF SHUT YOUR FREAKIN' PIE-HOLE! [Brett and Marty are nose-to-nose again, after that one. Darwin should be hired by KURGAN DEMONSTONE for ring security, after all the separating he's done between these two rivals...] DARWIN: Please, both of you... STOP IT! Now Marty, please... who is the newest BWW wrestler? SUGAR: Not a wrestler, jerkwad; our new announcer. BRETT: I thought LESTER BASH was the Big West announcer? SUGAR: And I'm not talking to you, Brett. Regardless, ANGELINA BISHOP decided that Big West needs a talent to match ARIEL MACE... but better. Sure, Ariel's a hottie and all, but she's as dumb as a post. So Angelina wants a chick that not only is drop-dead gorgeous, but is smart and knows this business. So I thought to myself, "Big Bad Sugar Daddy, who will the West Coast fans relate to, that fits these requirements?" BRETT: Oh no... you didn't. SUGAR: Oh yes, Brett... I most definitely DID! [That's when a gorgeous blonde, not quite thirty, walks up. She's wearing painted-on black leather pants, a red-on-black "BWW" crop-top, and black stiletto heels. She is LESLIE STANTON, the back-stabbing ex-wife of Brett, himself!] LESLIE: Hi Brett, miss me? BRETT: How can I miss you, if you never leave me alone? SUGAR: Wait, there's more! BRETT: What, did you bring her boyfriend, REX MARBLE, too? [Sugar gets that wicked grin on his face, again...] SUGAR: No, although it would be great to have the guy who shattered your hip around, to torture you some more. Sadly, Leslie isn't seeing him anymore... she'd rather be with a real wrestling superstar. BRETT: Oh no...you're not. SUGAR: Oh yes, Brett... I most certainly AM! [And with that, Marty grabs Leslie by her the back of her head, and plants a huge kiss on her! Brett looks away in disgust, as Darwin looks as shocked as a weirdo in a mask can look...] DARWIN: But... but... Marty! That's one of my step-moms! That's gross! [Marty and Leslie break for air, and Marty turns on his nutty step-brother...] SUGAR: No, what's gross is you thinking your pathetic father can help you win that Mystery Match. Good luck, losers... you're going to need it! [And with that, Marty and Leslie, hand-in-hand, head off. Brett shakes his head, his face red with rage, as Darwin tries to clear the air...] DARWIN: Well, Dad... Leslie sure looked great, didn't she? [Brett looks at his son, as if he just fell from outer space - which he may well have - as we cut away elsewhere...] ***** [Jack Mace is pacing around the backstage area, his brow wrinkled in thought. A shout breaks his concentration...] VOICE: The AFRICAN INVASION is HERE!!!!! [Terry Reed strides on camera, wearing a flowing black robe with purple fringes, a yellow-and-black patterned fez, and loose black pants. He is waving a large strip of green and red material like some sort of banner.] MACE: Can't you just say "Hello" like anyone else? REED: I am not like anyone else! I am THE ACTIVIST!!! I stand for justice and equality! I stand for telling the truth! I stand for... MACE: I got news for you. Tonight you're standing for NPW. I gave you this match because I want that Television strap taken away from Marty Sugar. Bishop is not going to enjoy any ownership of our belts! You can get this done for me, right? REED: Mr. Mace, I will do nothing of the sort! I had to fight tooth and nail to get INTO your company, so don't even try making me your "tame pet black buddy" now!!! Sugar has insulted me and the pride of the African race around the world! For that I am taking his TV title as reparations!!! I'll beat that honky so silly he'll never make fun of Aunt Jemima again!!!! MACE: He makes fun of Uncle Ben too, you know. REED: WHAT?!? WHEN!!! MACE: Over breakfast. REED: I'm gonna FLAY that racist cracker!!!!! [We cut away back to ringside.] ***** MASTERS : Well, Jack Mace, doing a little manipulation there on Terry Reed - and Marty Sugar, he's hired Leslie Stanton! CROWLEY [wiping a tear away] : I love you Marty! ARIEL : Hmmph. I dislkie her already. She'd better be pooey so I can hate her properly. MASTERS : Fans, that match is up next - Sugar vs. Reed, for the TV title! But first... take a look at what happened backstage at Myths & Legends between Danny Vicious and Calvin Astroth! ***** [We again cut to the backstage area. This time, we're visiting the Untouchables of NPW fame. The three CAL champions are sitting in their locker room, playing a game of Monopoly to pass the time. Timmy, who is the dog, rolls a five. All three are in their wrestling gear, and Paco is laying at Timmy's feet. Bleeding from his ear, curled up at Calvin's feet, is the PFK. One can only assume that Calvin has been training again.] FANTASTICO: Ola, esse. Welcome to Marvin Gardens. I have tree hotels, so dat's... um... alot of cash. [TJ brandishes his cane.] KILLINGBECK: Why are we playing this stupid game anyway? ASTROTH: To take our minds off those people in our matches... The Oven, The Regulars, the Brock Sisters, by the way, are they related to Brock Slater? KILLINGBECK: Urge to kill rising... [As the group continues their usual babbling and arguing, there is a knock at the door. Something seems off about the voice on the other side though.] VOICE: Mithter Athtroth, Mithter Killingbeck, Mithter Fantathtico, it'th me, Millithent. Open the door pleathe, I have too many barbecue pork ribth in my handth. [Assuming it's Millicent, and eager to leave the game alone, the three rush towards the door. They open the locker room door, and step out into an empty hallway. Suddenly, there's a creaking sound above them, and they look up in time to see contents of buckets fall onto their heads! Killingbeck is sprayed with ice and water, causing him to shiver. Fantastico is hit with what we can assume to be hot coffee. Astroth, however, is covered with a slow, black liquid. Everyone looks at him and frowns.] KILLINGBECK: What the hell is that? FANTASTICO: It smells like... [Before Timmy can finish his comment, a smiling Danny Vicious runs past and NAILS Astroth with a pillow!! The pillow bursts open, and Calvin is covered from head to toe in FEATHERS!! The Untouchables watch Vicious rush down the hallway laughing, absolutely stunned.] KILLINGBECK: Well I'll be God damned... FANTASTICO: HE TARRED AND FEATHERED CALVIN! [Astroth looks himself up and down, then frowns. His face suddenly turns to an expression of hatred, anger, and absolute spite.] ASTROTH: DAMN YOU DENNIS VIKADIN!!! KILLLL YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!! [Astroth turns to run down the hall, but slips on the water from the bucket landing on TJ. He falls, and his Untouchable compadres help him up and back into the locker room, all the while cursing the name of Danny Vicious as the scene fades to black.] Buffering....
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[We're backstage, and BRETT STANTON and DARWIN are having a father-son conference, getting ready for tonight's big "Mystery Tag" Match. Brett is wearing plain black trunks, white boots, black kneepads, and a red-on-black "Championship Wrestling League" t-shirt, with the old CWL logo on it; Darwin is in his tattered orange coveralls, black boots, black leather gloves, and his ever-present mask. Darwin is nodding his head, as we get close enough to hear them...]
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