Posted by Marlene
on 12/6/2008, 7:25 am, in reply to "Re: OT: Grieving"
72.192.195.39
Grace,
There are no magic words. I am very lucky that I am a part of a faith community (a Lutheran church) with a great pastor. I also did the grief counseling and went to pastoral counseling as I had a difficult time. What I can say is that you need to concentrate on you ... not Michael's parents. You are not going to remember a lot of what happens this year .. a lot will be a blur, and will always be a blur.
If you have a faith community, rely on it --
and do everything on YOUR TIME ... if you want to keep Michael's clothes in your closet for a year, do it ... Do not let anyone, even friends and family, tell you how to grieve or where you should be in the grieving process. If Michael's voice is on the answering machine and you are not ready to change it, don't. You will know when to do something. I wore my wedding ring for a few years after Bill's death. On my right hand, I always wear a diamond and sapphire ring that Bill gave me as a wedding gift. I happened to be in Macy's and looking at the jewelery - and I saw a pearl, diamond and sapphire ring. (Pearl is my birth stone.) I knew that was the ring I would wear in place of my wedding ring .. and that is how is happened. It was the right time to do it.
Take your time with everything ... listen to your body and trust in God ... God does not decide when someome dies. Doesn't give people cancer or heart disease or causes car crashes. But He is there for us always --
and for me Ephesians 3:14-20 is most comforting
14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father,* 15from whom every family* in heaven and on earth takes its name. 16I pray that, according to the riches of his glory, he may grant that you may be strengthened in your inner being with power through his Spirit, 17and that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith, as you are being rooted and grounded in love. 18I pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints, what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.
20 Now to him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, 21to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, for ever and ever. Amen.
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