Posted by Jack Davis
on 10/7/2011, 9:36 pm
68.70.191.153
I lost my beautiful dog, Buckwheat, just over two weeks ago and I'm completely heartbroken. Our lives and happiness were so interwoven that losing her feels like being torn in half. She was such a sweet, loving, sensitive soul--such a bright light at the centre of my life--that her death seems so cruel and unfair to both of us.
She was diagnosed with bladder cancer in April and after a successful surgery was in remission for months. My optimism for her permanent recovery was dashed in August when a urinalysis showed that her cancer had returned. I cared for her around the clock until it became obvious that special spark that made her Buckwheat was becoming obscured by her illness and discomfort. Making the decision that it was time to euthanise her was the most difficult of my life. Since then, that final day and those final moments have bee replaying over and over in my head and torturing me.
I miss her so much. My days for the last 10 years have been so built around her and our happy life together alone here at our cabin in the woods that it seems impossible to put together any sort of life without her. It feels like all my happiness was in that beautiful dog and the life we had together. It feels like my happiness died with her.
I'm heartbroken and have been struggling each day since she died. I have tried to find some sort of pet loss hotline for someone to talk to, but haven't been able to find one here in Ontario.
I know that this is going to take time--maybe a lot of time--but it just seems unbearable right now.
How do people get through this?
Thanks for listening,
Jack
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