Posted by Halton/Peel PLSG (Stephanie)
on 9/24/2008, 7:45 pm, in reply to "Mackinaw"
70.48.34.153
Oh Ingrid... my heart ached reading that post. I am so sorry to hear about Mackinaw. I can tell from your words about your beloved baby that he meant so much more to you than being just a "pet". What you did for Mac in his final years is so incredible and it speaks volumes to what a dear friend he was to you... so many people would have seen that as too great a burden and might have made that decision earlier. I can tell you without a doubt that Mac appreciated all of your love and care that your provided to him. I am sure it was scary for him to experience being ill and having those seizures but it also would have been a comfort to him to have you there. Even though your heart is breaking every day right now, in time it will get better and you will be able to look back on memories of Mac without breaking down into tears every time he comes to mind. You will also look back on those last two years with him and be grateful for all that quality time you were able to spend with him.
I had to have my beloved dog Rocky put to sleep in February at the age of 18 and I know the sense of loss and emptiness you are talking about. For several weeks after he was gone, I found myself hearing him walking around or the sound of his collar tags jingling when he shook after waking up from a nap. That sense that my home was just not the same was a constant reminder of how much he meant to me.
I can't imagine what your poor kitty is going through either... Jazz must have been a little lost at first when Mac wasn't around. I know that my other dogs walked around for several days looking for Rocky in his favourite spots, wondering why they couldn't find him. It definitely takes a toll on the other animals as well.
I am glad you found this message board. I found it really helpful to talk about my feelings with other people who understood what I was going through. Sometimes, although our friends and family are supportive, they may not understand how deeply you are affected by the loss. Some people do not regard pets as family members and may not see why we grieve so badly when we lose them. Do not feel that you should be in a rush to "move on". Everyone heals in their own time. Just let it take its course and cry as often as you need to.
I think that fostering is a great idea to help other animals when you are ready to open up your heart again. Mac would be proud of his mom for wanting to help animals who need foster homes.
Just remember that Mac loved you so much and he will always be looking out for you. He does not want you to feel guilty; he is happy and healthy again and missing you as well.
Feel free to share more about your baby when you are ready. We would love to hear more about him!
Sending you and Jazz a big hug!
Stephanie
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