Posted by Ingrid
on 9/24/2008, 4:13 pm
99.242.83.144
On 08/08/08...my husband and I took our Italian Greyhound "Mackinaw" to the hospital to put an end to an escalating long term illness. I had been able to spend the last 2 years at home with him after taking an early retirement. I made his care a priority, turning to naturopathic medicines and supplements and small frequent meals to aid his health which worked wonders for quite a long time. The vets at our clinic said that he would have been long gone if it had not been for the care and love I lavished on him. I rarely left his side for more than 2 or 3 hours at a time and usually only when my husband was home with him.
My husband travels a lot and we never had children so "Mac" and our cat "Jazz" have been my close and constant companions. I had always said that when he had more bad days than good, it would be time and his last 24 hours were awful with a sudden onset of horrible debilitating seizures.
Almost 7 weeks later I find myself unable to rid myself of the painful lump of grief I feel in the pit of my stomach. On the nights when I can fall into a deep sleep, I have terrible sad nightmares concerning him. Most nights I am only able to sleep very little, constantly reaching for him in his usual spot on the bed after short periods of dozing. Each time I realize he will never be there again, the tears and pain well up. My beloved cat "Jazz" is 15 years old and also in failing health with kidney disease. He also misses him but is always there to try and comfort me with his cuddles and purrs. His general behaviour has changed so much with the loss of his buddy and this too is a constant reminder of our loss.
I have lost many family members and friends and other pet companions who I still miss to this day....but this loss has been the hardest one yet and it feels as though the pain is swallowing me. My husband misses "Mac" too but is the type of person who avoids dealing with grief, so talking to him is difficult and he is away so much anyway. I have lots of friends who are very sympathetic but I feel like I bring them down if I talk about it too much.
I feel I need some kind of distraction and am considering fostering (cats/kittens not dogs...too soon to have another dog in the house). I have to find a way to recover and move on.
159
Message Thread:
« Back to thread