Posted by Laurien . . And when one of us is gone Thoughts are with you,
on 10/21/2007, 1:53 pm, in reply to "Sammy"
65.92.127.77
Dear Catherine,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious Sammy. I am sending you a huge hug...hope you can feel it.
Well, where to start. First, you and your Sammy were so blessed to have the kind of love you had. And when the time was right, you made the most unselfish decision you could make, to ensure that your precious baby did not have to suffer needlessly. It is a tremendously difficult decision to make, but when Sammy needed you to be strong, you were. And he is happy and whole and well at the Rainbow Bridge, and he is grateful. Please try to believe that.
Also, what you are feeling right now makes perfect "sense" to those of us who have a lost a beloved furbaby. You are grieving, period. It doesn't matter whether one is grieving for a person, or an animal...the loss is real, and your grief is absolutely real.
Those people who say to you that they have been through this too are probably only trying to help, in their own way. The reality is that some people view their pets as simply that, a pet. And then there are those of us who view our "pets" as sooo much more; they are family members.
This board is a place for people like you and I to come and share our grief, and get the support needed. My cat, Poubelle, has been gone a year now, and I still come here. It has helped me so much over this past year to know that others feel as I do; it is nice to not feel so alone, or "weird" or "not normal" to grieve this way.
I am blessed with an 11 year old son...but I have to tell you that I always considered Poubelle my "firstborn". He was the first pet that was mine, not my parents, and we had him for almost 15 years. My husband misses him, certainly, but it is me that continues to mourn him every day.
I mention my Poubelle in hopes that you will see that it is possible to get past this brutal pain in these early days. Catherine, I hurt so much when Poubelle died that I sometimes wondered how I could survive such pain. But I did. One day at a time, one tear at a time. And there were plenty of tears! I still cry about him...I rather expect I always will. Your Sammy is only physically gone...but you still carry him always in your heart, in your memories...
When you feel up to it, share some of those stories with us; we'd love to know him too!
Catherine, the enormous pain you are feeling right now WILL fade. Honest. But it's going to take time. One day you will realize that a thought of Sammy made you smile instead of cry. That day is different for all of us, there is no guideline.
When Poubelle died, one of the wonderful ladies from this board posted a quote that I still carry with me...I'd like to share it with you.
May you find some comfort in it.
And one is left to carry on
Well then remembering will have to do
Our memories alone will get us through
Think about the days of me and you
Of you and me against the world . . .
-- Paul Williams and Ken Ascher
Laurien
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