Posted by Catherine I had to put my dog Sam down around midnight two days ago. Like you, I don't know if I did the right thing. He had lymphoma and the vet told me that he would get as bad as he did Thursday night. When I decided to take him in, he was laying on the floor struggling for every breath and didn't seem to be aware of anyone or anything around him. I made the decision and called an emergency vet. When we got there, he didn't seem as bad as he was at home, but I went through with it. And now it's eating me up inside. I miss him so much. I'm 35 years old- with no children. Sam was a child to me. My entire life has revolved around this dog- his comfort, his happiness, whether or not he was sad or bored...if he was, I fixed it. Now he's been gone 2 days and all I can do is pace from room to room and feel how empty the house is. I need you to tell me that this will get better. I don't want to go on without him. Life is going to be awful now. I've heard that some people have little visions of their dogs after they die so I keep going around the house just hoping to see him and there's nothing. I'm expected back at work tomorrow and I don't want to go- I want to stay home and be close to the place where Sam waited for me every day. Coming through the door tomorrow night, after work is going to be too difficult- knowing that he won't be here waiting for me. Reading your post was the only thing that made me realize that someone does understand my situation. Everyone I talk to tells me that they've been through this too, but I don't think that they ever had a dog like mine, or they could never go on without him. I don't know how to be me without him. The best part of me is gone and there's nothing left over. I teach high school in New Brunswick and from working with overly dramatic teens, I've developed a little impatience for illogical behaviour. This is what's bothering me so much. It does not "make sense" to feel as badly as I do right now. A dog dying is a fact of life. But I know that I'd rather be with him than live without him. That's irrational, but it's the way that I feel.
on 10/21/2007, 9:18 am
142.167.76.129
Initially, I posted this message as a response to one below, but then thought that it should be a post by itself. Please excuse the repetition.
Will these feelings fade, or is this just the way life is going to be now? 176
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