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Posted by tachbuloth Here are some helpful and time tested tips. First, never spank when angry and have definate spacific spanking offenses. Laid out communicated and NO hidden "you will get a spanking if..." statements allowed. Settle it before it becomes an issue. If a lie is to be spanked, then it needs to be known before the lie. If stealing is to be spanked, it needs to be known before the act. Many parents make the mistake and the kid doesn't know what the severity of the punishment is as compared to the crime committed. Second, NEVER strike the child with your hand! Use something else. Your hand is to hold them, nuture them, and to help them. NEVER to hurt them. Third, it is not how long or how severe, it is what happens next. Most parents leave the child in the room. Then the child goes about bringing "peace offerings" to the parent. Can you immagine our Heavenly Father giving us a good whipping and then telling us to find our own way back into His good graces? Really not smart. So what should you do? Grab the child and hug on and on! Don't turn loose! They will respond. You will hear a great sob, they will suddenly cling to you, and there will not only be correction but restoration! Of all the "keys" the very last given is the one that will unlock the door to undoing the anger. We are told not to provoke unto anger, but too many parents do just that. The child who says, "Go ahead, it doesn't hurt" has disconnected from you emotionally. You must not turn back now. In brief: lay down the ground rules, spank with something other than your hand, and hug them until they hug back AND you hear that cleansing sob. Try it. It is something that you will have to work double hard at for consistency. BEWARE though. Too many parents end up in a vocal match with their children. There is NEVER a time that should be allowed. Respect is never earned it is given. If it can be earned it can be bribed, or sold.
on 6/18/2001, 3:12 am
The absolute key is not when or what but HOW!
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