Posted by david
on 10/10/2002, 7:40 pm
i have been very interested in all sorts of stuff like in this website for a long time. i read a book on o.b.e's and had read a lot fo other stuff on it. id also been meditating a lot and i ahve for a long time been heavily into religion and philosophy. a few things i did about six weeks ago or so and since then i have been feeling completely ####ed up. when i tried to have obe's i got very near but got worried every time. i think since then i have had them inmy sleep. i have become scared when i go to sleep and i dont understnad why. i wake up in thenight feeling absolutely horrible drowsy and my vision completely messed up and feeling very strange sensations. when i meditate it is completely different from ebfore im absolutely terrified of having obe's now and i find myself grabbign hold of stuff a lot. meditation doesnt seem very enjoyable anymore either. i get really load roarin and ringing sounds in my ears all the time. and sometimes afetr i emditate i get these wierd senses of reality. its like my mind set suddenly changes. its like i dont have control over my body naymore and i absolutely hate it. its getting worse and worse. and im thinkign all the time its like everythign else blacks out and im jsut sitting there thinkng all the time. im getting realy tired because i just cant sleep. and very very recently im becomming angry and sad and emotional really suddenly its liek complete mood swings i have no control over. i ahd a dream alst night and if i cud explain it to u sumhow i would but it was jsut inexplainable and i dont even know who the person was. every time i wake up i get these wierd wierd feelings and i grab hold of stuff to check im notin my astral body. im scared to ahvea n obe completely and i dotn wnat anything to do with it anymroe yet i sitll am completely interested in it. at first i tried to ahve an obe and i got these strnage sensations like relaly really strongly after. and now whenver i meditate i get them. its not like physical sensations its in my head. im becomming depressed and everythign and iv completely changed over the last few weeks. maybe what iw as experiencigng was a heightened state of conciousness but if it was i completely dont like it. and its like i get this feeling sometimes very occasionaly where like i suddenly realise the like illusion kind of that i build around myself and everyone else does. and i figure out a bit behind life. i cant explain the mental sensations i getin my head but since i did some certians tuff iv been really ####ed up. i just wana get back to how i used to be. could anyone please help? i really am getting very depressed about it and i dont know whats up. no one ever talks about this. i know this has got nothing to do with u but i seriously dont know who to aks. i havnt got a clue whats happening to me but its horrible. could anyone help me please? could someone explain whats happening? could anyone tell me how i could completely forget baout it and go back to hwo i used to be. i would be so grateful for any replies. i know this didnt make a whole lot of sense. its also messing up how i doa t school completely and how i am aroudn people. thanksfor any help given.
david
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