Posted by Diane K. All my best to you and to her,
on 10/1/2002, 3:33 am
Dear Vanessa,
I am also a mother, of two children, and I am anxiously awaiting the day that I may have to deal with scoliosis in my daughter.
My mother and sister have mild cases, but I was diagnosed in 1974 with a "very severe" case. I was an active gymnast, 16 years old.
I immediately had surgery, with a harrington rod put in place, and bone fusion. I know that there are many more options now than there were back then, and that your daughter will probably have a shorter hospitalization and recovery today, but I would like to share one very deep part of the experience that is common to all scoliosis patients.
As a teenager diagnosed with a serious condition, I was overcome with messages of 'abnormality' and 'deformity.' One doctor actually told my parents that I would likely end up a "basket case" without the surgery.
You can't help the outcome of your daughter's medical path, but you can really help her hold on to her "self." Think of her inner concept of herself before this news. If she was strong, keep feeding her all of those messages. If she was wavering, like a typical girl of her age, then you need all the angels you can summon (you need them in any case).
She needs to be able to find her good self every day. She needs to find words or actions or some form of venting her rage. Keep your own sense of injustice, your own needs, out of her world. Protect her soul as if she were a newborn. She is.
And, with all the care in the world . . . even with all the mistakes that you make along the way . . . if you are there for her she will emerge from this a sronger soul.
Honest.
Diane K.
Message Thread:
« Back to thread