Hello to my old friends, and welcome to some newcomers I see. With FB it looks like not many of us come on here much anymore, I'm guilty of that, as well as not posting much on FB. I miss all of you so much...the 'old days', our chats...
I guess we get busy with our daily lives, and hopefully, many of you are feeling healthy, so you don't feel the need to post. I've just been feeling down, healthwise, and mentally, and felt the need to reach out to my old friends, who might understand where I'm coming from.
Brief catch up before my question....I was in the hospital last fall, around Halloween time, pain and bloods all screwed up, pneumonia,blood transfusions, emergency gall bladder removal, all that 'fun' stuff. Since then, I just feel like I've been 'drifting', not feeling well, tired, hurting, but putting on that 'happy' face that we all are so good at. The holidays were nice, but Im sure you all know how much that can take out of you. I had (or was supposed to), have a 3D CT Scan done not long before Christmas, only to come home, and get an immediate call from my GI that they did the WRONG test, and it was NOT 3D, but just a 'regular' CT Scan! It did however, show that I have a lump in my ilium, most likely not a blockage, or it would be getting worse, could be scar tissue, or a tumor. Great news before Christmas! I still need to reschedule it, just not sure Im prepared for what that lump may be.
OK.....My question.....Have any of you been accused, or have actually become Anorexic because of this disease? The subject has been brought up to me, as I have lost a large amount of weight, apparently it shows everywhere. People do not understand that most of the time, it HURTS to eat!It makes my fistula leak, I just can't be bothered, it just makes my guts worse! Most days I put off eating until my family comes home, and I eat supper with them, so one meal a day. Is it my disease, or my head? I've also been very depressed for quite sometime....I take med for it, but there have been a lot of changes in my life over the last year, and sometimes I feel like my weight is the only thing I- MYSELF, can control, when everything else is crazy around me.
Maybe it's a combination of both? I don't know, I don't know who to turn to. Can anyone help me?
Thank you